Monday, July 30, 2007

Cultural Differences

After a while in Honduras I am beginning to pick up on some cultural differences concerning what Hondurans consider rude and what Americans consider rude. Being the American living in Honduras I guess it is my job to adapt to the Honduran style of doing things and stop waiting for Hondurans to learn some manners.

Things that are rude in the states but not in Honduras:
1) Cutting in line. If there is a line in the states it means you get in the back and wait your turn. If there is a line in Honduras it means that you try to push your way to the front and take your turn. Us gringos usually get the shaft with this one because we wait patiently for our turn while in the meantime three people get served before us because they were more aggressive. So I have picked up aggressive line skills to make sure people don’t cut in front of me, it helps if I have a friend and we can tag team to fend off anybody who tries to butt in.
2) Spitting, peeing or picking your nose in public. I have probably seen over 50 men peeing on the side of the road since I have been in Honduras. I once saw a little boy standing on the sidewalk peeing on a car parked at the curb. Another volunteer had a man blow a snot rocket on her kitchen floor and gave her a blank look when she gave him a broom to clean it up.
3) Referring to someone as El gordo or La gorda (ie.the fat one). While in the states this would be extremely rude and severely offend the person being referred to, it simply acts as a descriptor here. For example, my counterpart refers to her husband and “El gordo” and her daughter as “La gorda”. I personally think this will giver her daughter a complex, but it seems like everybody does it. There is also nothing wrong with telling somebody they are looking particularly fat or asking if they have gained weight. For example, I showed my host mom a photo of me when I was heavier and she couldn’t get over it, she kept saying, “Look at how fat your legs were! Look, how fat you were!” I also had a woman come up to me and put her hand on my stomach (which is called a pansa here) and ask if it was my first, as in my first child! One reality that cushions the blow of being called fat here is that a fuller figure is usually more desirable than a thin one, so it is really a compliment,right?.
4) Answering your cell phone at any time, anywhere. My counterpart once answered her cell phone in the movie theater and talked to her husband and daughter for about 2 minutes during the movie. People who are leading a meeting will answer their cell phones and have a conversation while everybody patiently waits for them to finish. I attended a three day seminar and one attendant had his earpiece in his ear the entire time. During that same seminar we had a man come speak to us about living with HIV. Beforehand the facilitator asked everybody to turn off their cell phones to show respect for the speaker (he repeated the request three times). Alas, a cell phone went off! Once I was in a meeting and my phone buzzed because I had a text message but obviously I didn’t read it because that is rude! The person I was meeting with asked if I wanted to answer my phone.
5) Showing up to a meeting late or not showing up at all and not calling or apologizing. My second week here I planned to give a presentation with a counterpart and he never showed up and never called and never mentioned it the next time I saw him. People will even tell you a few hours before the meeting that of course they will be there and they know when and where it is and then just not come and not think twice about it. One time we were supposed to go visit a community with a Rotary Club member. He showed up 20 minutes late (which I was actually very impressed by) and said “Sorry I’m late, I had to eat breakfast”.
6) Making any type of cat call, including kissing motions or sounds, tiss-tiss sounds, or saying mi amor, que guapa, etc. The worst is when they try to speak English and say bye-bye, or I love you or beautiful in a horrible accent. Sometimes if you don’t respond they think it is because you didn’t hear them so they often repeat it in an even louder voice. Men of all ages partake, from 14 year old school boys to 60 year old men.
7) Incessantly honking your car horn. In the 7 years that I have had my license I have probably honked my horn 20 times. Here people honk their horns on average, 20 times a day. Some even have customized sounds like sirens.


Things that are rude in Honduras but not in the states:
1) Not greeting everyone when you walk into a room (even if you walk into a meeting late). Hondurans are very social and always greet everyone in the room with a handshake or kiss on the check so if you don’t do it or don’t respond when somebody says hello it is rude.
2) Calling somebody out on a lie. So if you know that somebody is lying to your face and you call them out on it, you are the rude one because you are calling them a liar.
3) Refusing food that is offered to you. If somebody offers you something to eat or drink you should take it even if you don’t like it or you already ate. For example, when we go to the villages to install filters people will often offer us coffee and food and we often get stuffed eating everything people offer us. It is a little tricky for me because I don’t drink coffee or pop or eat meat so I have to decline food often. Luckily I think people just attribute it to the fact that I am a weird gringa and I can’t eat those types of foods, so I can usually get away with it.
4) Slamming doors, including car doors. During training we continually lectured to close our bedroom doors carefully and shut car doors gently. In my last host family I would cringe every time the door accidentally slammed shut from the wind.

From my lists you can obviously see that I am more acutely aware of the things that Hondurans do that I find rude than the things I do that Hondurans find rude. Maybe I’ll get over my American manners and learn to pick my nose while carrying on a conversation and hopefully stop whatever rude acts I have been unknowingly committing.

3 comments:

Daniel said...

Ha ha! Great observations! You will be a different person when you get back to the states!

jlourigan said...

I would get beyond annoyed with having people not be on time and not care about it. Although things are obviously a lot slower/relaxed there, it would be very hard to deal with people just not caring. I feel like it's a lack of respect.

Allison O'Donnell said...

yeah, I get annoyed every day, but I should probably get over it if I want to stay sane the next two years.